5K
- Runner's definition: "Booooring. I'm barely getting warmed up!"
- Non-runner's definition: "These 3.1 miles might as well be Mount Everest."
- Dear Runners, don't look down upon those 5K-ers. You were once one yourself.
- Sweet Non-runners, I know, 3.1 miles sounds impossible. It did to me too a few years ago. Find a 5K walk/jog/run in your state and sign up. If you stick to your training, it will eventually be a walk in the park.
10 K
- 6.2 miles and my first ever official race
Aid Station
- Just might be the most important spot in a race. They have drinks and even sometimes food! To have a person offer you a cup of water when you are thirsty and weary will make you want to name your kid after them.
Barefoot Running
- Bless their crazy little hearts, these people are certifiably insane. I pity their pedicurist. If you see someone running without shoes, show them respect, but still ask the question, "Really??"
- The waterproof paper that shows your running number
- Using four safety pins, place it on the front of your shirt during a race
- Keep as momento
Carbo-Loading
- The best part of training for a race: pasta!
- Not your daily allowance of Tostitos, it's the mini techno gadget that you attach to your shoelace or bib that magically keeps track of your race time.
- Organic, chewy granola bars; high in protein, fiber, and lots of other healthy stuff
- I will sometimes eat one before a run of 7 miles or more
- Buy in bulk at Sam's Club (it's the best price, I have yet to find)
- Could the running world not have come up with a more dignified name? I'm already tall for my sex. I don't need to feel like a Clydesdale or an old pony jammed next to 40,000 other ponies that are being led out to pasture.
- This is a shopaholic-runner's delight. Not only do you get to pick up your bib and all other items for race day, you get to explore booth upon booth of health and fitness gear, food, and electronics. Fun stuff.
- Why aren't these shoes called Five Toes?? Maybe because you look like a gorilla when you wear them. This is what Marathon Man was wearing the day I met him - only an intense runner would wear Vibrams to church.
- A magic watch that tells you things like distance ran, calories burned, heart rate, and pace. I used Marathon Man's a couple of times and was quite impressed with what it knew about me after a run.
- It tastes just like it sounds. Marathon Man used these on all of his long training runs. The first time I tried Gu, I thought to myself, There has got to be a tastier way...But, the stuff does work. It got me through my run. Warning: some flavors have caffeine, so you may want to rethink any evening runs.
Heel Strike
- How I have always run. That is until a few months ago.
Ice Bath
- This is one thing Marathon Man never convinced me to do. Unless, I am running in Death Valley and my feet and legs are on fire, I see no need to feel like a Titanic victim. Maybe a marathon will change my mind, but I doubt it.
Jog
- Apparently, the pace for my long runs are still technically called this.
- Derived from an affinity for the 90's Disney film Heavyweights.
- What I called Marathon Man when he would talk like or act as my personal trainer. He was a very nice, encouraging version of the real Lars. Yes, I'm weird, but it worked for us.
Marathon Man
- A really, really good man who is ridiculously good at running and who gave me the best eight months of my life
- The fastest American in the London Marathon 2012 (I'm still proud of him for that)
- A cross between Adonis and a way better version of Prince William
- The polite way a person moving faster than you says, "Get out of my way."
- Used to rub out leg muscles. I miss not having one anymore.
Toe Strike
- Marathon Man is a front-foot runner and apparently that's how "real runner's run". I was quite content in my amateur heel-strike form, but a few months ago, I decided to give running on my toes a try. Marathon Man was quite impressed with my newly acquired form. So after a few runs of not being able to feel or move my calves due to soreness, I have now been fully converted to front-foot running. The main reasons? My calves get a killer workout and I feel lighter and less ploddy when I run.
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